Libby Weston
There’s a sound in my head that won’t be quiet,
which despite my wishes,
rages loudly just to spite it
I can’t help but think these words were meant for me,
my mind begins to run frantically
Tap Tap Tap beneath the table as I hit it with my knee
Why won’t my legs stop shaking?
And making, a distraction for the class
“Girls keep the noise down” heads turn to me
Bold of you to assume, that I can pause and won’t resume
A disappointment,
a waste of potential,
we live in a world where if you are not perfect,
then you are worthless
Report cards and bad grades tell you worthless is not worth it
Because I am not perfect
I am not worthless,
I am creative
Standing still as the world moves fast,
leaving me while I’m still looking in the other direction, gone too fast
Rubbing the bruise on my knee wishing I could be something that is not me
The mask of ADHD hides the real me, behind my label
Teachers start to sympathise “I think she may be disabled”
Now I’ve got a problem with labels
Why?
Because every girl finds the odd ones out,
pushes them into a characterisation
“There’s something wrong with her”
I spend every day holding up my four-letter label,
trying to rearrange it until it says ABC,
then maybe I’ll be able to analyse poetry and smile in class
and not writhe with jealousy when I watch the other girls use trigonometry without needing to stop halfway and forget what they were trying to do
I spend the day trying to alphabetise my brain,
but for it to fall apart and repeat the cycle
I can sit in class and watch the words on the board twist themselves into moving objects
The cell walls of an organism in biology jump off the board and surround me,
trapping me to do something I cannot do, and be someone I cannot be
Held behind at the end of class
“You know you can tell me if your struggling, right?”
But in class holding up my arm, the stare of the girls around me brings me harm,
and I hear them whisper “it’s not even hard”
Because I am not perfect
I am not worthless, I am creative
Standing still as the world moves past me,
leaving me behind.
But as I look, I see the other side that no one else gets to see
Because behind my labels, it’s just me
Lyric Analysis Intention Paragraph
My song Standing Still, written as a rhyming ballad, represents the experience of a student with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in the climate of a high school where they feel oppressed and marginalised due to a label they have been given. My song explores the concept of not being able to have full control of your own mind, and the helpless desperation that ensues, evident in the line “Bold of you to assume, that I can pause and won’t resume.” Throughout my piece I use the metaphor of the world moving too fast around the character, whilst they feel they are “standing still”. I further use the symbolism of the alphabet, where the character tries to hide her struggles to be like the others around her, such as in the line “holding up my four-letter label, trying to rearrange it until it says ABC”. My song, however, follows the realisation that although all the education system values is grades and marks, she has talents that are covered by the label, which is emphasised in the repetition of my chorus, “Because I am not perfect. I am not worthless, I am creative” representing a dramatic change in mindset as she realises, she is more than a label. Finally, I use the recurring motif of the Earth moving, leaving the song's protagonist behind, which is represented in both my album cover, and the title of the song, Standing Still. This motif begins with feeling alone and outcasted by the people around her who can grasp concepts more easily, however by the end, the motif represents the realisation of the new perspective that ADHD has given her as she begins to understand her strengths which is clear in the line “I see the other side that no one else gets to see.” Standing Still represents an important journey to find one’s self-value despite being previously stigmatised due to a lack of understanding and empathy from the education system and society.
Visual representation
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