By Lizzie Eade
What are they, what do they mean, and what is yours?
“Love is a language spoken by everyone but understood only by a heart”
- Shirley Rindani
Love Languages. Potentially some of the least-known/understood languages around the world! When we think of languages what often comes to mind is Italian, French, Mandarin, etc., however, what we often neglect to consider are the beautiful ways of communication known as the love languages.
A love language can be simply defined as the way in which a person prefers to give or receive love. Despite this simple definition, love languages are complex and intricate, as well as extremely important in relationships.
Whilst there are many ways in which love can be expressed and received, the love languages have been classified into five branches: quality time (my personal favourite), acts of service, physical touch, gift-giving, and words of affirmation. Continue reading to discover more about the different love languages and complete the quiz to find out which one belongs to you!
Quality time as a love language is the act of spending dedicated time together and expressing love through undivided attention to each other. Through sharing time, you create a connection and a bond with each other, making people feel loved and cherished within their relationship. Quality time can come in many forms, however ideally this time is spent without distractions. To show someone you love them through quality time, you may do anything from running errands together to going on a private holiday somewhere! With quality time a little effort can go a long way, so ensure to make time for those you love!
Acts of Service
This love language involves completing everyday mundane, boring, or inconvenient tasks for your loved ones that can make life easier or more enjoyable for them. These acts can be as simple as doing chores around the house or running simple errands, however, they can go a long way and communicate your love in your relationships. Sometimes what you may find to be an easy or small task may be a harder task for others, so why not convey your love this way? Additionally, this love language isn’t limited to only romantic relationships, however, can also be communicated in friendships and family relationships.
A warm embrace between best friends, a loving kiss from your family, holding hands with your loved one. Like most love languages, physical touch can come in many different forms and be applied to various relationships. In many instances, physical touch may make your partner feel safe and comforted, as well as loved. However, this is not always the case, and it is important to communicate with your loved ones as you may be expressing your love and it is not being received! Physical touch is often overlooked when it comes to love languages, and even the smallest gesture of physical contact can make a big difference.
Contrary to popular belief, the gift-giving love language isn’t solely about receiving fancy, expensive, or luxurious gifts, and is in no way a superficial way of giving or receiving love. Gift-giving/receiving is more about the thought and care behind presents, and the fact that they are thinking of you when they pick your gift. Additionally, receiving a gift for no particular reason and/or occasion is often cherished and appreciated more as the present is unexpected! Gifts come in many different shapes, sizes, and price tags, however often these are irrelevant because, as the saying goes, it’s the thought that counts!
Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation is a pretty self-explanatory name! Words of affirmation are simple yet meaningful phrases that communicate your love for someone and may validate them/your love for them. Words of affirmation can be expressed both verbally and in written forms (e.g. notes, email, texts). Some of the most common affirmations include “I love you”, “I’m proud of you”, “You look great today”, “Thank you so much for …”, etc. Words of affirmation also include terms of endearment, such as ‘honey’, ‘babe’, ‘darling’, and ‘sweetheart’. Overall, words of affirmation are an uncomplicated and direct way of communicating your love or appreciation for your loved ones.
Whether you would prefer to receive a bunch of flowers or have your breakfast made for you, we all love to feel loved! Now that you know and understand the love languages you can learn the ones of those around you and strengthen many of your relationships! As said by Samuel Zulu, “Most relationships fail because of a lack of understanding of each other’s love languages.”, and “Without understanding the love languages of each other, you will be nothing but roommates!”
Ultimately, love languages are fundamental and the key to great relationships!
Complete the quiz below to find out which of the love languages you prefer to give and/or receive!