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A University Course Guide for the Clueless

Eleanor Low


Reader, it’s okay, we’ve alllllll been there. You’ve seen Twilight, right? Yeah, it was pretty bad. But while Bella’s off chasing immortality and leaving behind her will to live (pun intended), she does manage to do one thing right: get a post-graduation plan.

Oh, and also “true love”, but that’s a whole ‘nother article.


Look, it doesn’t take much to be better than Bella. But to do that, you need a future. So, I introduce to thee, an accumulation of university courses you can gorge upon- or un-gorge upon- totally at your leisure.


#Numero Uno: LAW

Don’t be dissuaded by all the media yaking on about the difficulty of law, and how “useless” it is if you weren’t planning to get into the legal industry. Who said that law is just for lawyers? We always think of those suit-wearing, high-brow law graduates as strategizing solutionists who you’d despise to have as your enemy. But where do you think they got their skills from?! According to the Graduate Careers of Australia, 74% of former Aussie law students get a full-time job within 4 months after graduating. Four months and you don’t even have to search! Employers just fling themselves at you.


The biggest turn-away from law is that it’s too competitive to enter, the workload is too difficult, yadddah-yaddah-yaddah. While both of those things are true… it’s all worth it in the end. It’s just so applicable in the real world and is guaranteed to not only make you look like the smartest person in the room, but can, and will, literally take you anywhere- from politics to business running, journalism or accounting. The writing skills and attention to detail are admirable, so what are you waiting for!? A ton of people do law when they are unsure about their courses, too. But if you are planning on being a lawyer, I got nothing but a solid thumbs up and an encouraging smile. Best of luck on your future endeavours!


Numero Due: PSYCHOLOGY

Psychology is interesting. It’s connecting with people empathetically, being observant and attuned to their behaviours, and acquiring a soft British accent. Preferably the type of voice that sounds like a tea-sipping, scone-scoffing, sprawl-on-the-sofa-sounding expensive little midget; most psychologists are short people anyway.

The truth of the matter is, that all psychologists seem to possess a secret weapon, something that really (hopefully) makes that therapy price tag worth it. Really, who knows what you get taught in psychology courses, but whatever it is, that hidden talent, seemingly unique to every psychologist, is both morbidly fascinating, and, well, very very frightening (Galileoooo..). It’s the 4th most popular worldwide college major to take! People clearly like picking at each other’s brains…. I wonder if psychologists go to psychologists for their own therapy….hmmm. I digress.



Numero Tre: ENGINEERING

Not my first course of choice, but I gotta cater for all my hardcore mathletes and techy-type peeps out there. Yah know, there are too many types of engineers for my liking, but conveniently, each can settle into 1 of 4 groups: chemical (CE), civil (CIE), electrical (EE), and mechanical (ME). All 4 are pretty self-explanatory: CE manufactures medicines, chemicals, and pertains to topics like physics, biology, and maths; CIE manufactures practical constructs like airports, roads, bridges, water systems (and there are many aspects to making these things, like blueprinting, or management, or assessing it’s environmental impacts, etc); EE is essentially a CIE but for electrical things, like building/designing electrical power plants, aircrafts, the ✨Tesla✨ etc; and finally, an ME makes engines, fridges, elevators and escalators, and everything in between- like repairs, planning, managing, although to be honest, these are qualities every engineer must have.


Overall, quite practical. I like to think of engineering as the poster image of humanity- “just look at those opposable thumbs!” However, the only alluring thing I find about engineering, enough to make me consider such a course, is the real cash- and right off the bat from graduation too. No waiting for seniority to come to give you money privileges. Just picture Boss Baby living in a cardboard box, hunched on the footpath right outside the mansion you would be floundering in. That’s some good-looking smoola right there, and an option only 8.2% of the Aussie population is making good use of. And I’m looking at the average wages right now; engineers must be in really high demand to get paid that much. If you’re looking to be desperately needed, or you have an attention deficit or something, engineering simply must be for you!



Numero quattro: MEDICINE

Humour me:

An upstanding teen graduates from school and launches into medicine, aiming to wow fellow students, teachers, relatives and friends, all the while steering their way through a sandalled life; crushes, family drama, obsessive movie-watching, a friend who likes to stalk them home. Sounds rather juicy, am I right?

In my expert opinion… yeah. We all want a life like that; the type that lives inside that glaring blue box in the living room. This little scenario fits the bill for any hopeless doctor tv drama, but what this story, and often the reasons for wanting to be a doctor, are severely lacking in is… reality.


Medicine is very much a teeth-grinding industry, but I know I don’t need to tell you that. Despite it all, there are two reasons why people dare to dream of doctorhood: 1. Their parents want them to, and/or 2. You want to find a cure for cancer. And while the former is a terrible response to doing any sort of task, the latter ignores the fact that finding a cure for cancer is what scientists do. Nevertheless, it’s an attractive career for many.


However, you have to be willing to do it without parental influence, and face times where you just have to let somebody go. And while you can’t be the hero in everybody’s story, you can’t spend a lot of time wallowing over it, either. It’s a job that requires real mental toughness, observational skills, to be quick-on-your-feet and more dedicated than, like, ever. It’s a beautifully painful career, and you have to be really passionate. If you think you can do that, then chase yer dreams!

As a side suggestion, it only seems appropriate a doctor should learn to play the organ, don’t you think? I mean, it’ll really takes some guts to do medicine and learn an instrument simultaneously, but hey, urine for a treat - organs are coming back into style anyway! (okay, I’ll stop now… but I’m sure I had you in stitches!) While it’s never too late to veer into the medical field, students at the popular St. George University (Grenada) begin their medical courses at age 27 on average. And yeesh, that’s a while away. But hey, perhaps it’s for the best.


Numero cinque: ARTS AND DESIGN


If you didn’t get the pun, I wish you well, but art isn’t for you.


The art of fine artery (that was a rather vein joke) is quite a fickle course. You probably really enjoy nature… or something. I dunno, don’t ask me to describe an art student. They’re just too unpredictable. A bit of a wildcard, if you will, but replace ‘card’ with a hesitant ‘…th-th-th-thingy’ and you’ve hit an accurate description. Indeed, it becomes hard to define what and who an art student does/is once you realise that pretty much everybody’s an artist to begin with. This artistry course isn’t about teaching you new skills, it’s about growing the skills you had all along, strengthening them until you’re proficient. There really is no end to arting once you graduate either, its one of those things you’ll forever be learning from. And maybe it’s because designing is so versatile that it scares people away. Or maybe people get it in their heads that art is just one aspect and it's not appliable so it’s not worth it. Honestly, just too many people think they can’t do arts and design because they can’t draw, when it’s not even about your drawing skills anyway! You have it in you to get better, and there is plenty of opportunity to showcase your other skills too! Studies show that art students are 4 times more likely to be recognised for academic achievement, and 3 times more likely to be awarded for outstanding attendance. Isn’t that so cool?! I’d love to get awards for showing up. Clearly, art motivates the heck out of people. And that’s just the kind of intensity we need!


Whether you’ve got your passions cut out for you, or you’re as uncertain as the flavours within PB+J, there is a course out there for everyone. There are over 200 - 300 courses, offered within Australia, and probably many more that I don’t even know about. It’s important to do some deep diving into research before picking your courses, BUT, on the other hand, give anything a go! Seeing as I started with Twilight, *disappointed sigh* I think I must end with it: think of Jessica’s graduation speech, “this isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions, this is the time to make mistakes….” Literally, a power sentence. A power girl, more like- the best part of Twilight is watching Anna Kendrick scuttle across that screen, and you won’t try to change my mind because you privately agree with me. but anyways, back to the topic at hand; my dear friends, as long as you’re not a robot, there is a future out there, unique to you, and you will discover it, even if you stop searching. It’s rather exciting that we don’t know our futures yet because now it’s just out there for us to find. I only hoped I helped with clarity, but even if I didn’t, you better believe it was an interesting read >:D Thank you for coming on this jour-knee with me…. yesh, I know, I should stop it with these puns, but I really did de-liver these jokes really well.

Anyhoo, until next time!



LINKS that I used:

https://www.lawsociety.com.au/resources/resources/career-hub/10-jobs-you-can-do-law-degree

https://www.mq.edu.au/study/find-a-course

https://www.verywellmind.com/reasons-to-earn-a-psychology-degree-2795621#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20U.S.%20Department,average%20growth%20for%20all%20jobs.

https://www.unsw.edu.au/engineering/our-schools/civil-and-environmental-engineering/about-us/civil-environmental-eng-surveying-careers/what-is-civil-engineering#:~:text=Civil%20engineers%20design%2C%20construct%2C%20manage,all%20shaped%20by%20civil%20engineers.

https://www.bls.gov/ooh/architecture-and-engineering/chemical-engineers.htm#:~:text=Chemical%20engineers%20develop%20and%20design,food%2C%20and%20many%20other%20products.

https://www.bls.gov/ooh/architecture-and-engineering/electrical-and-electronics-engineers.htm#:~:text=of%20electrical%20systems.-,Electrical%20engineers%20design%2C%20develop%2C%20test%2C%20and%20supervise%20the%20manufacture,systems%20of%20automobiles%20and%20aircraft.

https://www.tesla.com/careers/search/job/electrical-engineer-infotainment-103850

https://www.engineersaustralia.org.au/about-engineering/statistics

https://www.topuniversities.com/university-rankings-articles/university-subject-rankings/university-subject-rankings-top-ten-most-viewed-subjects

https://www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11-facts-about-arts-education

https://www.topuniversities.com/courses/art-design/guide#:~:text=Fine%20art%20programs%20typically%20combine,%2C%20illustration%2C%20printmaking%20or%20ceramics.

https://kidadl.com/funnies/puns/medical-puns-that-will-have-you-aching-with-laughter



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