What Your Favourite Cheese Says About You

By Ainsley Benbow

Written in alphabetical order

Aged Cheddar

You’ve got refined taste, and you know it. You’re not here for anything as basic as depth or complexity; little sharpness is exactly your vibe. You sometimes (more often than not) correct people when they’re wrong; however, you are usually right because of all the articles and podcasts you binge to fill your free time. 

American Cheese

You love burgers and all things fast food, and there’s absolutely no shame in it. You’re all about comfort (#Oodies), nostalgia, and keeping things simple. Although you think five-star dining is cool, nothing can beat a Maccas drive-through or home-cooked meal with your friends.

Blue Cheese

You’re bold, opinionated, and confident, which either makes people love you or don’t get you - but you’re completely fine with that. You’ve got strong taste (literally and figuratively), and you probably enjoy the finer, slightly unconventional things in life. 

Brie 

Soft, elegant,  and just a little indulgent, you’re the definition of effortless chic and sophistication. You love a picnic, dream of going to Paris, having cheese with apple juice or anything that feels a bit aesthetic. 

Camembert

You’re like Brie’s slightly edgier cousin, and if you were an aesthetic, you would definitely give off cool rich auntie. You’ve got a cozy, laid-back vibe with a hint of mystery. You enjoy the simple things in life, like good food and company; however, luxury trips can never be passed up.

Cheddar

Reliable and universally liked, you’re the kind of person everyone gets along with and the cousin that everyone knows has the best and biggest personality in the family. You’re adaptable, fit into any situation, and truly the staple friend that everyone knows they can count on. 

Cottage Cheese

You’re either super into health and wellness or just quietly doing your own thing. You don’t follow trends as you are your own trend - like Matthew McConaughey’s, “my hero is me in 10 years” life motto. You are a bit of an introvert, but you enjoy spending time with those closest to you. You like a movie or a board game night. 

Cream Cheese

You’re the life of the party, no question. Smooth, fun, and a little bit chaotic in the best way, you bring sweetness and joy to everyone around you and somehow fit in everywhere. Whether it’s brunch, a night out, or a last-minute hangout, you are always ready to live your life to the fullest.

Feta

You’re 100% a big salad person and love feeling put together. You’re fresh, organised, and maybe just a little bit obsessed with aesthetics. You give off ‘I have my life together’ energy, even if it is not always 100% true, and always, without fail, take a photo of your meal before eating. 

Goat Cheese

You’re artsy, a little quirky, and definitely not mainstream. You are very particular about what you like and love sporadic, spontaneous plans, from hiking to going to beach markets.

Gouda

You’ve got an acquired taste and a great sense of humour, which people often underestimate. You also probably love a good comfort move (yes, ‘She’s the Man’ energy all the way) and are the perfect mix of a little bit of fun and chill. 

Mozzarella 

You’re soft, wholesome, and everyone loves being around you– like the responsible ‘mom’ of the group. You bring comfort and good vibes wherever you go, whether it be movie nights or midday picnics; you always know how to bring up the mood.

Parmesan 

You’re a full-on pasta person, and honestly, respect! You truly appreciate the little details and believe everything is better with a finishing touch.

Ricotta 

You’re sweet, lowkey, and don’t need to be the loudest person in the room to stand out. There is something warm and comforting about you that people really appreciate and are always drawn to you for your non-judgmental help or advice in times of need.

Swiss

You’re calm, practical, and a little reserved– but in a cool way. You’ve got depth (like those holes obviously) and once people get to know you, they realise there’s a lot more than meets the eye, especially with your one-of-a-kind humour.