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The Best Jokes (to make your friends cringe this Christmas)

By Alessia Anderson Year 9



What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!




How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?

Nothing - it was on the house!



What’s the best Christmas Present?

A broken drum - you can't beat it.



What happens to elves when they behave naughty?

Santa gives them the sack.

What kind of music do elves listen to?

Wrap.



Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A Mince Spy!




What says 'Oh Oh Oh'?

Santa walking backwards!




What do you call a greedy elf?

Elfish.




What do zombies eat with their Christmas dinner?

Grave-y.



Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws!



Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?

Rude-alph!



Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh?

He wanted to see time fly!




What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!



Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can mow, mow, mow



What do you get if you combine Santa and a duck?

A Christmas Quacker!




What never eats at Christmas dinner?

The turkey – it’s stuffed.



Where does Santa stay when he is on holiday?

At a Ho-tel.





What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?

A puddle!



What is a librarians favorite Christmas song?

Silent Night




How do you know Santa is good at karate?

He has a black belt!




What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet.







Sources:

http://pun.me/pages/christmas-jokes.php

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