Nikie Yang
Have you ever wondered what our teachers were like in high school? Haven’t we all. Below are the award recipients for each category with a pretty accurate description of them all.
Classics:
Bad Boy: Mr Munro
"I am so happy and optimistic about life"
I know what you’re thinking…. “Mr Munro? A bad boy in high school? He’s more likely to have been the kid who recites Shakespeare?” Honestly, I would have agreed with you if he had not been my teacher these past two years. At least once a term he brings up stories of his rebellious high school past life when he was a “wee little lad”. Myth or reality? We’ll never truly know, but in all fairness, I can definitely see him rocking out to AC/DC with a leather jacket when he was younger.
Best Haircut: Mr Munro
No explanation needed. 💇♂️
Most Rebellious: Mrs Solo
Mrs Solo was the cool mysterious girl in high school who no doubt was into heavy metal and probably had a boyfriend who owned a motorbike. Sorry Mr Munro, you have some competition going!
Go to the very bottom for a surprise of Mrs Solo in her youthful wild years! My prediction was so on point.
Class Clown: Mr Moran
I’m sorry to every other teacher out there but it is obvious that this would go to Mr Moran. His quick wit and disastrously bad dad jokes make him funny. He definitely would’ve been the one his peers went to for a laugh back in the good old days and he probably did stand-up comedy in university as a part-time job.
Class President: Mr Scali
"If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress" (Barack Obama)
The thought of Mr Scali organising campaigns, badges and giving passionate speeches to his loyal fan club to win Class President just comes so easily. It was a no brainer. He was born to take over the world someday with his rocking history skills.
Best Dressed: Ms Conn
It is so obvious who the best dressed teacher in our school is, Ms Conn! She rocks up to school every day looking like she walked off the runway. She belongs in New York not Australia and has got to get out of here (in the best way possible). I think we all wish to see what her Pinterest board looks like because it would just be impeccable. She would’ve been the fashionista in high school who started trends and she was mentioned in like 50 Myspace conversations regarding fashion.
Sporty Guy (Jock): Mr Chesterman
Despite being really into Maths, Mr Chesterman was that kid who lived for those lunchtime and recess sessions where he could play football or basketball with his mates. He probably dreamed of playing for the All Blacks before realising he could probably make more money from solving difficult maths equations on game shows, where you could win thousands of dollars and potentially live off that money.
Most Likely to:
Most likely to still get ID’d: Miss Groom
"Vitamin E is the secret"
I think we collectively need a skincare routine and tips from her (like a Loreto version of Vogue beauty secrets) because she does not age. I just know she would’ve gotten ID’d when she went out when she was like 24. I literally dare you to guess her age because my whole class was shocked to find out how old she’s turning this year. Maybe she’s a vampire #teamedward.
Storytime: I promise I did not hear this until AFTER Miss Groom read this article. She told me that she has gotten ID’d at bottle shops TWICE in the past 2 months. Another accurate prediction by me.
Most likely to turn emo: Dr Franks
"Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind" (Doctor Who)
She’s into German industrial metal - what more can I say? Just add black lipstick and eyeshadow and she’s ready to be a goth girl. The black eyeshadow and lipstick would really compliment her hair though, so she would’ve been one of those cool goth girls in high school. Her Facebook status would’ve probably been something along the lines of “Science by blood, emo by choice.”
Most likely to survive and win The Hunger Games: Mrs Coombes
I feel like if anyone has had her as a teacher, then you will know the wacky stories she tells about her life. She is just a super trooper. She’s also quite cunning so she would definitely outsmart all the other contestants on The Hunger Games (or a show like it) and then go on to win because “Loreto first, then the world.”
Most likely to be a double-agent/spy: Mr Abarbanel
Mr Abarbanel’s Bluetooth earpiece suggests he may be passing on vital information to someone important. We are just not sure what information he could be gathering and for whom? Being a Maths teacher is simply a perfect cover for his espionage work.
And if you have made it to the very end of this extremely philosophical and deep article, then as promised, here is a photo of Mrs Solo at the age of 18:
You gotta love our Science Department.